Tebow to Green Bay, ESPN Sucks, March Madness, and Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Injustice

  • Now that Peyton Manning has signed with the Broncos and ESPN has made that story all about Tim Tebow, the rest of the country has to follow suit ... again. Whether it's them making an insanely irrational star out of Tebow or most recently Jeremy Lin in the NBA, the "Worldwide Leader" is right at the forefront of over blowing shit to the point where I'm refusing to watch any of their channels. They're not the Worldwide Leader in Sports anymore, they're the Worldwide Leader in Overreacting. I saw a question on First Take the other day asking, "On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed are you of the Peyton Manning story?" Are you kidding me? Why would we be annoyed of the Peyton Manning story, other than the fact that all you're talking about is the Peyton Manning story? Do you realize that the only reason you're asking this question in the first place is because you guys won't shut up about it? I'm not annoyed of the story, I'm annoyed of you talking about the story. We've actually only heard from Peyton Manning twice in less than two weeks, if you weren't hammering us over the head with it for your 17 hours a day worth of SportsCenter, no one would be annoyed of it at all. And that goes for the Tebow and "Linsanity" stories too. I'm so incredibly sick of ESPN's crap. If anyone wants to get real sports news instead of hearing someone repeat the same crap over and over again but not actually do any real reporting, go to Yahoo! or Fox Sports. Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of the way ... the Packers are one of the teams who have been mentioned as a possible destination for Tebow, and people in Green Bay are losing their minds about it. No one seems to want Tebow here for whatever reason. I don't know if they're worried about the morons at ESPN showing up everyday to talk about a backup quarterback or what, but why not bring him in for a late-round pick? If anyone can work wonders with a QB, it's Mike McCarthy and offensive coordinator Tom Clements. Look what they just did for Matt Flynn and what they're doing with Graham Harrell, not to mention what they've done with Aaron Rodgers already. They have a quarterback and team in place to be able to handle the circus that Tebow would bring. If Rodgers dealt with all the Favre crap, I'm pretty sure having Tebow as a teammate wouldn't be too rough on him. It clearly wouldn't hurt to have Tebow's leadership and intangibles in the locker room. He's obviously going to work his ass off to get better, and if McCarthy and Clements can't help him then no one can. I'd have no problem with them bringing him in and letting him hang out for a few years with a clipboard or watching him score TDs from inside the five. I'd probably even buy a #15 Packer jersey.
  • The big story in the NCAA tournament this week is the injury to North Carolina PG Kendall Marshall. Being the die-hard UNC fan that I am, I'm pretty worried about losing a guy that's been the best PG in the country the last few weeks and the guy that runs our entire offense. On the list of guys we couldn't lose, he was number 1. That being said, we can still make a run at a National Championship. We still have the ACC Player of the Year in Tyler Zeller and the Defensive Player of the Year in John Henson. We still have Harrison Barnes, but he's going to need to step up and start scoring 25 to 30 ppg. Reggie Bullock and P.J. Hairston are going to have to start knocking down their threes and playing some point. The Tar Heels are going to have to put together a new game plan on the fly, but they have the talent to do it. On another note, shout out to Wisconsin and Marquette for also making the Sweet Sixteen and to Lehigh for knocking out Duke. It was an amazing first weekend until the Marshall injury news came out, but other than that it couldn't have gone better for a UNC fan living in Wisconsin. Go Badgers, go Golden Eagles, and go Tar Heels.
  • I haven't shredded my bracket yet which is a good sign, but it's not in the best shape either. I had Missouri in the Final Four and Duke going to the Sweet Sixteen as well as Montana beating Wisconsin and Wichita St. advancing past the first weekend. I'm still in the running to win some money in one pool, so I can't complain too much. What a day Friday by the way with two 15 seeds beating 2 seeds even though I didn't get a chance to watch any of it. Again, who schedules a wedding during the first weekend of the NCAA tournament? During one of those "You'll always remember where you were when..." sports moments, I was driving 10 hours to the south (which I never want to do again, the southern half of the U.S. and I don't mix at all) and attending a rehearsal dinner when I never even went to the actual rehearsal itself. The open bar at the wedding was pretty nice, though.
  • One more quick rant: Someone needs to stop Michael Bay from making anymore movies. It was bad enough that he turned one of the most horrific days in American history into a love story with Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck and barely managed to make watchable movies out of one of my most beloved childhood cartoons, Transformers. (If it weren't for Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf, those movies would have been insanely shitty. They don't even have all the original characters in them.) Now he has to go and ruin my most beloved childhood cartoon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Apparently, Michael Bay is turning the turtles from mutants into ... wait for it ... yep, that's right, aliens.  Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael apparently don't come from the ooze anymore, they come from outer space. This is the final straw in my ever-increasing desire to remove Michael Bay from Hollywood at all costs. He has to go, and if I'm the one that has to start the movement, so be it. You don't mess with the turtles. If there's anything that can unite Splinter and the Shredder, this kind of sick injustice has to be it. Let's bring out the Rat King, Bee-Bop and Rocksteady, Toca and Razar, Krang, Casey Jones, April O'Neill, and even Keno. (And yes, all those names came from memory.) We need all hands on deck. Occupy Michael Bay's Studio, let's go!

Andrew's First Round Tournament Predictions

As the first round of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament gets underway, we'll have 12 hours of non-stop basketball madness today, which is followed by 12 more hours continuing tomorrow.  Anyone who hasn't faked sick already or taken vacation time will be at work streaming the games live on their computer, hoping their boss doesn't catch them.  While you're spending less time doing anything at all constructive and more time getting paid to discreetly watch basketball until "the man" tries to stop you, here are some things to look for:

  • Long Beach State (12) upsetting New Mexico (5) - A name to watch - Casper Ware. This guy will be a star in this tournament, I guarantee it. Look out for Casper Ware.
  • NC State (11) beating San Diego State (6) - The Aztecs seem to actually be the underdog in this game despite being the higher seed, and I have to agree.  NC State has been playing extremely well down the stretch and probably should have beaten North Carolina in the semifinals of the ACC tournament.  Watch out for the Wolfpack.
  • Montana (13) over Wisconsin (4) - I told my buddy Quinn while I was watching Montana win the Big Sky tournament that they would win a game or two in the Big Dance. Too bad for Wisconsin fans they drew the Grizzlies in the first round, because I'm sticking by my prediction.
  • Temple (5) will beat South Florida (12) by double digits - After USF's dominating win over Cal last night, they've quickly become a hot bracket-buster in the minds of some experts. There's a big difference between the talent and experience Temple possesses and the lack of experience and overall talent that Cal has, however. Expect Temple to easily do away with the Bulls in the first (technically second) round.
  • Bob Knight's State Farm Discount Double Check commercial to start trending on Twitter - Each year there seems to be some commercial that CBS runs about 12 million times during the tournament and I think this is it. I think it's actually pretty funny, but ask me again in a few hours when I've seen it about 598,746 times.
  • CBS to replace Lesley Visser ASAP - Damn, does she look old. She's still a good reporter but in the world of HD, sideline reporters need to be a little easier on the eyes. 

It's Time for the Madness!

Not the Super Bowl. Not the beginning of Packer Season. Not UNC vs. Duke. Not Spring Training. Not the World Series. Not the NBA Playoffs. Not Christmas, not Thanksgiving and not my birthday. Not even if the Packers made it to the Super Bowl. Nothing compares to this time of year for me as a sports fan or as a human being in general.  The next 2 days are filled with buzzer-beaters, cinderellas, upsets and general basketball insanity.  For 10 hours straight from 11 am until 9 pm, my entire life revolves around college basketball. Literally. I haven't worked or gone to school in at least 10 years during the first two days of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. I refuse on principle. If I get fired, so be it. There comes a time in a man's life where he has to decide what's important to him, and my top priority for the next 48 hours will be basketball and nothing else. I have to drive 10 hours both ways to a family wedding this weekend and I'm bringing a 7 inch T.V. with me in the car so I don't have to miss a second. My wife is pretty psyched for that, by the way. Honestly though, who decides to get married during the first round of the NCAA tournament? (I will always call it the first round even though, technically, it's the second round now because of these stupid play-in games. I don't care if VCU was in a play-in game last year and made it to the Final Four, so stop making that point. They're a waste of my time, the tournament starts Thursday, not Tuesday.) I don't know what other words to use to describe my sick, disgusting, completely unhealthy passion for the coming 48 hours. Since I have no other words, I'll give you videos. These are the top 5 moments of March Madness that I've witnessed live during my lifetime as well as some of the general reasons why this is my favorite time of year. When I think of this tournament, these are the things that come to mind.

5 Trade Scenarios for Dwight Howard

Will the Magic superstar be dealt before the March 15 trade deadline?

Now that the NBA All-Star break is over a week behind us and Dwight Howard was still a member of the Magic during the festivities in Orlando, it's time to start thinking a little more seriously about the trade options the team has for its superstar center.  Howard is averaging over 20 points and 15 rebounds this season and remains the premier defensive big man in the league.  The Magic do still have the option of keeping Howard, playing out the rest of the season, and hoping he re-signs with Orlando after testing the free agent waters.  It bears mentioning that if they do decide to keep Howard and he doesn't re-sign, the Magic will acquire a significant amount of cap space to be able to sign other players, which is exactly what happened when Shaq left Orlando in 1996.  That didn't work out so well then, and it may not now.  In my opinion, the best option for Orlando is to trade Howard before the March 15 trade deadline and try and get the best package they can to start rebuilding.  That being said, the team is handicapped by the list of teams Howard says he'd be willing to sign a long term deal with - the Lakers, Clippers, Mavericks, Nets, and Bulls.  With some help from ESPN's NBA Trade Machine, I'll outline the best deals the Magic can get for Howard and let you know which deal Orlando should take.

UNC vs. Duke: All-Time Rosters (Of My Generation)

North Carolina and Duke have played each other in men's basketball 233 times.  It's widely noted as the most fierce and hated rivalry in college basketball, if not sports in general.  Tomorrow night will mark the sixth time they've squared off to decide the ACC Regular Season Championship, with the Heels winning three times and Duke winning twice.  (Just to make it clear to anyone who isn't aware, I should make it known that I'm a huge UNC fan and absolutely despise Duke with every cell in my entire body.  Like I probably wouldn't mind if the Duke bus was the thing that crashed into that truck carrying 200 lbs of jet fuel during the Daytona 500.  I'm glad everyone in that situation was okay btw, but I wouldn't be if it were the Duke basketball team.  To clarify, yes, they should die.  That's how much I hate them.  So forgive me if this seems rather biased.)

In honor of tomorrow's game, I'd like to put together my version of the All-Time rosters for both squads and let you decide which team would win.  Leave a comment or go to our facebook page to vote.