Tebow to Green Bay, ESPN Sucks, March Madness, and Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Injustice


  • Now that Peyton Manning has signed with the Broncos and ESPN has made that story all about Tim Tebow, the rest of the country has to follow suit ... again. Whether it's them making an insanely irrational star out of Tebow or most recently Jeremy Lin in the NBA, the "Worldwide Leader" is right at the forefront of over blowing shit to the point where I'm refusing to watch any of their channels. They're not the Worldwide Leader in Sports anymore, they're the Worldwide Leader in Overreacting. I saw a question on First Take the other day asking, "On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed are you of the Peyton Manning story?" Are you kidding me? Why would we be annoyed of the Peyton Manning story, other than the fact that all you're talking about is the Peyton Manning story? Do you realize that the only reason you're asking this question in the first place is because you guys won't shut up about it? I'm not annoyed of the story, I'm annoyed of you talking about the story. We've actually only heard from Peyton Manning twice in less than two weeks, if you weren't hammering us over the head with it for your 17 hours a day worth of SportsCenter, no one would be annoyed of it at all. And that goes for the Tebow and "Linsanity" stories too. I'm so incredibly sick of ESPN's crap. If anyone wants to get real sports news instead of hearing someone repeat the same crap over and over again but not actually do any real reporting, go to Yahoo! or Fox Sports. Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of the way ... the Packers are one of the teams who have been mentioned as a possible destination for Tebow, and people in Green Bay are losing their minds about it. No one seems to want Tebow here for whatever reason. I don't know if they're worried about the morons at ESPN showing up everyday to talk about a backup quarterback or what, but why not bring him in for a late-round pick? If anyone can work wonders with a QB, it's Mike McCarthy and offensive coordinator Tom Clements. Look what they just did for Matt Flynn and what they're doing with Graham Harrell, not to mention what they've done with Aaron Rodgers already. They have a quarterback and team in place to be able to handle the circus that Tebow would bring. If Rodgers dealt with all the Favre crap, I'm pretty sure having Tebow as a teammate wouldn't be too rough on him. It clearly wouldn't hurt to have Tebow's leadership and intangibles in the locker room. He's obviously going to work his ass off to get better, and if McCarthy and Clements can't help him then no one can. I'd have no problem with them bringing him in and letting him hang out for a few years with a clipboard or watching him score TDs from inside the five. I'd probably even buy a #15 Packer jersey.
  • The big story in the NCAA tournament this week is the injury to North Carolina PG Kendall Marshall. Being the die-hard UNC fan that I am, I'm pretty worried about losing a guy that's been the best PG in the country the last few weeks and the guy that runs our entire offense. On the list of guys we couldn't lose, he was number 1. That being said, we can still make a run at a National Championship. We still have the ACC Player of the Year in Tyler Zeller and the Defensive Player of the Year in John Henson. We still have Harrison Barnes, but he's going to need to step up and start scoring 25 to 30 ppg. Reggie Bullock and P.J. Hairston are going to have to start knocking down their threes and playing some point. The Tar Heels are going to have to put together a new game plan on the fly, but they have the talent to do it. On another note, shout out to Wisconsin and Marquette for also making the Sweet Sixteen and to Lehigh for knocking out Duke. It was an amazing first weekend until the Marshall injury news came out, but other than that it couldn't have gone better for a UNC fan living in Wisconsin. Go Badgers, go Golden Eagles, and go Tar Heels.
  • I haven't shredded my bracket yet which is a good sign, but it's not in the best shape either. I had Missouri in the Final Four and Duke going to the Sweet Sixteen as well as Montana beating Wisconsin and Wichita St. advancing past the first weekend. I'm still in the running to win some money in one pool, so I can't complain too much. What a day Friday by the way with two 15 seeds beating 2 seeds even though I didn't get a chance to watch any of it. Again, who schedules a wedding during the first weekend of the NCAA tournament? During one of those "You'll always remember where you were when..." sports moments, I was driving 10 hours to the south (which I never want to do again, the southern half of the U.S. and I don't mix at all) and attending a rehearsal dinner when I never even went to the actual rehearsal itself. The open bar at the wedding was pretty nice, though.
  • One more quick rant: Someone needs to stop Michael Bay from making anymore movies. It was bad enough that he turned one of the most horrific days in American history into a love story with Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck and barely managed to make watchable movies out of one of my most beloved childhood cartoons, Transformers. (If it weren't for Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf, those movies would have been insanely shitty. They don't even have all the original characters in them.) Now he has to go and ruin my most beloved childhood cartoon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Apparently, Michael Bay is turning the turtles from mutants into ... wait for it ... yep, that's right, aliens.  Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael apparently don't come from the ooze anymore, they come from outer space. This is the final straw in my ever-increasing desire to remove Michael Bay from Hollywood at all costs. He has to go, and if I'm the one that has to start the movement, so be it. You don't mess with the turtles. If there's anything that can unite Splinter and the Shredder, this kind of sick injustice has to be it. Let's bring out the Rat King, Bee-Bop and Rocksteady, Toca and Razar, Krang, Casey Jones, April O'Neill, and even Keno. (And yes, all those names came from memory.) We need all hands on deck. Occupy Michael Bay's Studio, let's go!

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